Lyrics That Make Me Laugh

(It) Feels So Good, Steven Tyler...why is this still on the radio?!

First, I know the right way to look at this song is that it is a reflection of a memory rather than present day. However, given the lyrics and general mood/tempo of the song, I cannot help but interpret this as creepy old man hitting on young girls.

Here we have a song about a gentleman and a young girl. There is no mention of either age, but I think the age of the girl is fairly clear, and Steven Tyler sounds pretty much like...well, Steven Tyler...so we know his age. There are lines about being locked in a bedroom for a week and the girl being a superfreak so we can interpret the general theme without much thought. While I'm listening to this and thinking, "It's a little creepy that a man, at the age of 63, is singing in this manor about someone," we get to the chorus...

It feels so good, loving you
Yeah, it’s so good, the way you do the do
It feels so good, and I need oxygen

"I need oxygen." I don't even need to crack a joke about age. He stole any punch line I could think of and made it part of his song. Seriously, the oxygen tank is typically for the elderly. I'm willing to bet that is not his intending meaning, but once I get on the track of thinking, "He's too old to sing about this," that's really all I can think when he gets to this line in the chorus.

I hope I'm not alone when I say it's creepy when someone is singing about subjects that are more youthful or juvenile than they should be. This isn't Green Day singing a fan favorite from Dookie or any number of truly classic artists that have remained popular and continue to play songs from their youth in concert. This is a new song, and it is targeting a far younger audience and from a far older person than it should be.

It's kind of like New Kids On The Block's attempted come back with Summertime or the less creepy (but equally age inappropriate) If It's Love by Train. Come on Patrick Monahan, you're 42...lose the fohawk and stop pretending you're out partying all night.

Of course, the age of the girls in the video don't help the creepiness or my inability to stifle laughter. At least Train's video decreases the creepy factor slightly by laughing at themselves (I think).

Catching Up

It's been a while so here's an update on the past few months. I might take the time to add some pictures eventually, but since this is 4 months worth of updates I wouldn't get too hopeful if I were you. Maybe Ben will help. :)

In April we took Patriot's day off to catch some re-enactment activities & the Boston marathon. In Lexington we learned that Jackson does NOT like gun fire (British Red Coat or MA Regulars), but he braved the noise to take on the challenge of making friends with every person in the crowd. He's such a glutton for attention.

The Boston Marathon was awesome. I had never seen the elite finishers before and it was Ben's first time there at all. I told everyone I was going to see history because I thought a US runner could win either the Men's or Women's race. Ben & I were there before the men started & kept updated via Twitter on the status of the elite runners as we waited for them on Boylston (within 200 m of the finish...awesome!). The wheelchair racers started coming in shortly after we arrived so we had the occasional competitor to cheer for as we waited anxiously for the first runners to come in. Every elite finish was down to the last few hundred yards for all categories.

We saw some of our favorite runners (Kara Goucher & Ryan Hall), record finishing times for overall & US, nearly a 1st place finish for the US women (Desiree Davila...from the Hanson Brooks Distance Project based out of Rochester Hills, MI), and Joan Benoit Samuelson passed within inches of us for her sub-3hr finish (at age 53). Pretty impressive, both her time and the fact that I could have reached out and touched a running legend. I may have gotten tackled by race authorities if I had, but, consequences aside, I could have touched her if I chose to. Then we moved further away from the finish to help Pete, my best bud from the UP, cheer for some of his friends. He never has time off from Brigham & Women's at this point in his residency so it was a lot of fun to see him. There were no US winners this year, but we did see history with all the close finishes & record times. There was even an unofficial record for the fastest marathon ever that day.

The Detroit Tigers came to town in May & we managed to get tickest to both games. The first was miserable, but the tickets were free from one of Ben's friends from work so we couldn't complain. I heard the announcers had called it "fog" in the air, but trust me it was a heavy, steady mist punctuated by moments of pouring rain. Awesome. It must be nice sitting in the press box. Game 2 as much better weather & we got to go with our friends Beau & Michelle who we actually spoke to even though they were cheering for the enemy. The Tigers barely lost both games (boo) but it was still a good time.

Ben & I ran a couple races in the spring. The best one was the Run To Home Base at Fenway Park. After the run we got to wander all over the park & warning track to get the pictures you never have time to take at a game or during the park tour (including some you never have the opportunity to take...ever). Plus it was for a great cause. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a very fun and unique run, any Red Sox or baseball fans, or anyone looking for a good charity to support. I would definitely do it again if we weren't moving away.

We also ran the Run to Remember which honors MA police who lost their lives serving. That run was terrible. It was incredibly hot/humid & there wasn't enough water stations for the distance. I was running with my friend Abby & I actually was on the lookout for a store (money in hand) to duck inside and buy her some water because I thought she was going to pass out. If you ever think about running it, just do the 5 mile race. They aren't set up to support a half-marathon. This is the 2nd time we tried the race & they failed miserably in the support department. Too bad, it's a good cause & a nice half-marathon route. They just have horrible support & event execution.

The Run to Remember was during Nick & Christina's visit to Boston. We took an extra long weekend to show them all the Boston sites. Well, we tried to show them everything, but we had a great time seeing a few new things & showing them some of the Boston must-see's. By the time we got to Sunday's run, they knew their way around enough to self-navigate to Harvard for some site seeing (where they actually saw Ben & his friend Carmen run by) & then meet us at Faneuil Hall for some lunch, one last Boston Brick Red beer and so Nick could get yet another cup of clam chowder (pronounced ChodAAAHHHH by Nick).

June was our summer vacation. We made the 14 hour drive to Macomb, spent a full day hanging with the Wolak's, then headed Les Cheneaux for the Bourque reunion. A lot of fun was had as always including a trip to Tahquamenon (since Ben had never been to the upper falls), Mackinac Island with Jackson (who again tried to make friends with everyone...except the horses), some kayaking, and discovery of possibly the most fun "board" game in existence (telestrations). Then we went back to Macomb for 4th of July weekend & hung out at Ben's brother John's new house for a barbecue. We also managed to catch Jeff, from the farm Ben used to work on, and Ben's friends Steve, Nick & Christina in those few days. All of that plus squeezing in a Tiger's game with Ben's dad, where at least one person must have had a heat stroke, and a trip to Ernie Harwell Park (the site of the old Tiger Stadium and roughly maintained original field). Of course, there were also birthday celebrations for Ben at both stops in MI.

Then came my birthday, which was generally uneventful overall but was mostly just relaxing...between preparations for our house repairs. The past 2 weeks we've been living on our porch & upstairs while most of our 1st floor and master bedroom had some repairs done. They should be done today or early next week. Maybe.

Next up: figuring out how to sell a house so we can make the trek to California. We'll be there by Thanksgiving if all goes as planned. That should mean a few weeks to hang out with Ryan and Katie as we move in and they move out.

We are not-so-secretly hoping Ryan & Katie will end up there for 3-4 more years...not that I won't be happy for them if they get to head to Florida.

I think those are all the highlights, but I probably missed something.

Home For A Bit

You know you're on the road too much when you repeatedly refer to your hotel as "home", and Ben and I have both been traveling too much lately.

Lucky for us I've been able to swing some earlier flights home a couple times these past few weeks, but we've still barely seen each other since early Feb. Those early flights make for rough trips with late night flights and early morning arrivals, but it's nice to be home sooner.

First, Ben went to California for 2 consecutive weeks. The time difference and long flights are not fun to deal with on either end. We're heading to bed in New England for an early morning wake up by the time California is getting done with work.

Then I went to Colorado for a few days. I got to catch up with some friends from Ohio and meet their new addition to the world while I was there. I learned that babies can projectile vomit during burping...funny for those of us not holding Jake. I also re-learned that running doesn't work at that altitude until you're acclimated. No matter how slow or how short I plan to run, my lungs always feel like I'm sprinting within seconds and I'm cursing my motivation to run at altitude.

Then I went to Florida the next week, where I got to see a couple old friends from Tech. I also squeezed in a couple runs wearing only shorts & a T (no pants, hat, multiple long sleeve layers, gloves). The last day I ran into one of our ROTC instructors in the hotel lobby. Crazy! Unfortunately I was leaving that same day so we didn't really get to really catch up. My meeting got done early so some of us tried to catch an earlier flight since we kept hearing about terrible weather coming our way. We switched flights and moments later our new flight was delayed. Then, delay after delay came our way while our plane waited out a tornado from a nearby airport they were able to land at. Finally the weather passed, our plane made it, and we were re-booked to land in Boston 5 hours later than originally planned (yuck). The good news is the flight we switched from would have gotten in even later.

Finally, I just got home from Ohio Friday night where I got to see some old coworkers & friends from my first office. The trip sucked because it was yet another trip, but it was great to catch up with people again. I saw part of both "Dinoshark" and "Mega Python Vs Gatoroid" (staring Debbie Gibson & Tiffany...seriously, I can't make this up)...both comically terrible movies, as expected with the titles. Running was even better in Ohio with 2 days in shorts & long sleeves and 2 days in shorts & a t-shirt. Beautiful 65 and sunny twice! I also got some real hot wings, some Young's Double Chocolate Stout on tap, and managed to get an entire 6 pack of Shiner Bock safely home for Beau (hopefully he'll share with Ben & me).

We're both home for at least the next 2 weeks now. Yay!

Excited!

I am officially excited. I found out a few weeks ago that I got into Test Pilot School to become a Flight Test Engineer. What does that mean?

I spend a year in California learning how to test aircraft and flight hardware while studying engineering and flight, beginning in about 1 year. I get to fly at least once a week on a bunch of different aircraft. Plus, I walk away with a Master's degree, and, better yet, Ben and I should be stationed together the whole time. It took some strategizing and luck to pull that last part off.

That's not why I'm excited though (although I am pretty excited about that). I just realized today, while finally checking out the Wachusett brewery with Ben & Beau...they sell Fat Tire in California! Why it took me this long to make this realization, I don't know. Maybe it was the stock piled Octoberfest in our basement distracting me from deeper thinking (like what kind of beer can I buy in CA).

So yay for us...accessible Fat Tire beer for at least a year! No more squeezing a 6 pack into luggage, hoping it survives the trip.

Well, only a little more of that, but you get the point.

A Busy January

When we moved here with all our new wedding gifts we discovered some of our stuff didn't fit in the new kitchen. So a lot of our serving and dining stuff went in the basement. Every time we needed any of it we would dig it out of a box, wash it out of paranoia since it was kept in a dusty basement, and store it back in the basement when we were done with it.

Since the time we moved in I have been telling Ben that we needed to get some type of cabinet for our dining room or kitchen. And we finally got it...

So now we don't need to go into the basement if we have more than 2 people over. :)

Oh, and we did some snowshoeing after one of our big snows. It's starting to look like a real winter around here (for the first time sine we arrived). We've already had 3 snow days, 2 delays, and an early dismissal so far this year!

Before you think we're lucky we get so many free days off, remember that a snow day is due to large amounts of snow...snow that requires shoveling to get the cars out the next day. Worse yet, a delay just means you wake up at the same time you usually do to spend a couple hours digging out your car in the dark and then drive to work on busy, snow-covered roads. Then you spend the entire day hoping it doesn't snow more before you get home so you have time for dinner instead of spending the whole night shoveling.

We also finally got the Christmas cookies Ben's parents shipped to us after our holiday visit. Ben was so excited when he finally saw that box on the porch it was too funny! I think he may have been skipping to the door.

A Christmas Cannon

Yes, we realize it's a little late for Christmas posting, but considering the last post was from October you shouldn't complain. Besides, this isn't really about Christmas. The title isn't misspelled either.

We were on our 6 hour drive from Newberry to Macomb on Christmas Eve listening to some Christmas tunes. Ben took over driving after lunch and I was sitting in the passenger seat with my eyes closed to shield the brightness of the sun reflecting off the snow covered surroundings.

Christmas Canon by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra quietly begins playing on the radio. About 8 bars in, just as the violins begin playing, Ben makes a sound. It sounds like he's clearing his throat or trying to hack something up. This isn't especially odd since we're both recovering from a splendid pre-Christmas cold.

About 2 seconds later he makes the same sound, but at this point I am looking at Ben, prepared to offer him a tissue. This time I notice as Ben softly clears his throat, his cheeks puff out more than a typical throat clear would. Before I can say anything a third soft cough comes a couple seconds after the previous one.

"What are you doing???" I ask this as if he's crazy, which is pretty common around us because he acts a little nuts fairly often.

Ben looks over at me as he makes his fourth soft hack and says very matter-of-factly (making me sound crazy for even asking), "It's a Christmas cannon."

This is when I realize he isn't clearing his throat but making soft booming cannon noises like a five-year old kid play war. I guess the boredom of the long drive caused him to take the "Canon" portion of the title literally and provide a little comedy to our trip.

Too funny!

Massachusetts Chainsaw Massacre

This weekend we got some fall yard work done. Part of this included burning some branches that had fallen the past few months. Ben borrowed a small, electric chainsaw from a coworker and got to work while I got the fire started.

Jackson & I feed the fire while Ben hauls some more wood over

Ben decided that this little chainsaw was really cool and he had to use it on every branch he could...even when he didn't need it. There were several branches...or maybe small sticks...that I had to take away to easily break with my hands before someone got hurt.

Ben cutting a "branch" (just before it shoots across the yard)

In case you didn't know, if you use a chainsaw on a stick this small it will snap from the pressure about 6-12 inches behind the saw blade. Then the saw will send this piece flying 10-15 feet across the yard. That may not sound that dangerous, but when you're about 5 feet away it's a little unnerving no matter how funny it is.

"I feel like a man......or a bad serial killer"

I found the whole thing so entertaining I had to get a few pictures, and, as you can see from the shot above, Ben had a lot of fun. I don't think the pictures get across how tiny this chainsaw was though, and that was a big part of the humor.

Oh and we carved an awesome pumpkin together for Halloween! (It looks better in person.)

Becky Takes Boston

Apparently we left out a very important visit that happened this past spring. (You'll note it is not in the May-Oct timeframe that the previous post was updating everyone on so the complaint department could have chosen to ignore the request.)

In April Becky came to visit for a whole week. We didn't think we could handle her for that long, but somehow we did...

Casie spent most of the trip making up random history facts for no apparent reason. It was entertaining to see what we could get Becky to believe as they became increasingly outrageous.

We went into Boston a couple times, including a trip to the Boston Public Garden where Becky found herself a little follower. I guess when you're the cool kid everyone wants to be like you.

There were a couple brewery tours where Becky found her new love...Harpoon's Raspberry UFO. While it's probably a stretch to say Becky made a scene during the Samuel Adams tour, she was definitely the focus of the tour at one point. That point being when she, for some unknown reason, decided the best way to taste beer on the tip of her tongue would be to stick out her tongue while beer was in her mouth. If you can't picture how this would work...that's because it doesn't work. You just spit out beer...and some would say make a scene. :)

We met up with Alec & Michelle for Becky's birthday where she had her first Black & Tan before we headed to the North End for some dessert. There was a random street performer overdoing the Italian accordian player role that Becky found amusing and snapped a quick picture of. Since she neglected to offer any donation, the guy actually chased her down the street insisting she delete the picture. Note: There are no pictures of this for obvious reasons.

We also went to freeze our toesies off at a Red Sox game. It was so cold that they stopped trying to sell beer and simply offered hot chocolate, coffee, and clam chowder.

We caught the end of the Boston Marathon when Scott and Laura came into town for a day. For some reason the Puma store was giving away free beer. The unexpected nature of stumbling upon 12oz of free beer may have made this the highlight of the trip.

Then we met up with Alec, Michelle & Jason for dinner (Ben was traveling for work so he missed the family pic).

Becky also had her first Yuengling beer, ate her first Five Guys burger, and went to her first comic book store with Ben one afternoon.

Somehow we all survived an entire week and we only sent Jackson to wake Becky up once...okay maybe three times.

What's new...

Casie got her Master's. Casie & Michelle went sky diving. Ben got his Master's. Todd & Jacob came to visit us (and Beau & Michelle). Casie's parents came to visit. Casie went to Alabama for 5 weeks of training. Sam Adam's Octoberfest was released. Ben went out of town for work a lot. We went on a few hikes. Ben perfected the art of bringing Fat Tire beer home to New England. We celebrated our third anniversary. Casie ran a half marathon.

What have we learn since May? Life is busy...and you can't wash an iPod with your laundry.

Guess who's getting the new iPod nano!!!


http://www.canyouseethesunset.com/music/mumford_and_sons_little_lion_man.mp3

Best Show on TV

I'm not saying this is my opinion, although I will admit it is an extremely well done and entertaining show. Ben, however, LOVES Friday Night Lights.

Those of you who watch it may understand this a little better than others, but here is an example of my Saturday mornings when the show is on TV. I say Saturday morning because we DVR everything to skip over commercials and Ben can't make it past 10 AM the next morning before he has to see what's new in the world of Dillon, TX and the Taylor's.

This show starts with a fairly lengthy intro each week to set the stage for the drama that is soon to follow. That is just enough to get Ben geeked about the next 40-60 minutes of entertainment. Immediately after the intro the rhythmic piano of the theme song begins pounding as scenes of Texas, football, and the coming season flash across the screen. EVERY week at the exact same point in the song Ben says, "Best show on TV."

The show just started back up this season, and this soundtrack, including Ben's weekly comment, is already fixed in my mind. How do I know this? Ben downloaded the sound track for Friday Night Lights and included the theme song in my latest "Ben's Mix" iPod update. About 5 seconds into the song I thought, "Best show on TV."

I guess that makes it a fact right?

U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A

Honda expands their recall of faulty airbags just after Toyota announced their second accelerator recall. Is it because I'm from Michigan that this brings me a certain level of satisfaction? I feel like [name your new source] just told millions of people "told you so" for me. US auto companies aren't that bad after all.

Yet somehow these Honda and Toyota customers say they aren't concerned. After all, "Honda/Toyota still makes reliable vehicles so I will remain a loyal customer." (actual quote, regarding Toyota I think but clearly the sentiment with most owners) They're reliable alright, if you want to stop you will continue accelerating just like you...oh wait, that's not reliability. I guess the airbag is guaranteed to go off; you'll get pillow of air exploding at your face (as planned) along with shards of metal. Where I come from that's called shrapnel, but good luck with that loyal customers.

It didn't take much for everyone to decide Ford, GM, and Chrysler were unreliable and bail for foreign automakers, but uncontrollable acceleration and shrapnel flying at your face don't compare to the inflated negative reputation you've built for the US automakers, right? Continue killing an entire states economy (yes, a mistake to build an entire states economy on a single industry...not my point).

As I find myself wondering whether or not the Camry behind me is going to stop or accelerate into me while creeping through stop-and-go traffic, I then wander to questioning the positives of globalization. Maybe we (US citizens) just lack national pride when it comes to economics across state lines. I don't care what happens to Florida's economy as long Tropicana finds a way to continue feeding me orange juice so why would Texans care what happens to Michigan's economy?

Oh well, this family will go on loving Jeeps. Whether it's because we are from Michigan, know too many people who work (or used to) for a US automaker, or actually don't see any significant faults with their engineering.

And no I don't hate all Honda, Toyota, etc owners. I just find this latest batch of recalls amusing...and I really like the U-S-A, U-S-A punchline in the title. :)

Lyrics That Make Me Laugh

Lately I've been noticing the comedy of pop lyrics more for some reason. Whether it's just nonsense put together to rhyme or a pathetic attempt at depth or something poetic, these lyrics are laughable when you really think about what people are running around listening to or even singing along to without thinking about it.

One of my current favorites to laugh at is Jesse McCartney's Body Language where he says...

Parlez vous francais?

Konichiwa
Come and move in my way
Hey, little chica from Guadeloupe
That thing you got behind you is amazing

That is...

Do you speak French?

Hello (in Japanese)

Come over here

Hey small foreign girl from a Creole-speaking nation

Nice butt

The best part is, this is the chorus so you can laugh multiple times throughout the song AND the rest of the lyrics aren't much better so the comedy continues!

Lost Luggage

When I arrived in Qatar I ran into a couple guys clearly in the same situation as me (backpacks, luggage, and male haircuts make it pretty obvious) so we started chatting as we waited for our luggage. Part of our conversation included them asking me how I was getting to my final destination, I said I had someone picking me up and told them how I thought they could arrange a ride for themselves if they needed something.

Then someone from the airline walked up to be and said, “Ms. Wolak? You have a message from Washington…” as she pulled me aside to tell me my luggage did not make the flight out of Washington-Dulles airport.

The two guys I was talking to had their eyes pop out of their heads like Simpsons characters because all they heard was the “you have a message from Washington” portion of the conversation. They said something about me being important as I returned to grab my carryon luggage. That was my chance at a great punch line even though I would have been the only one present who got the joke. I even had the unintentional setup of my casual, “Oh someone is picking me up,” there to back me up.

I should have said something like, “That Barrack is such a kidder!” just for fun, but I didn’t think of it. I was too busy rethinking what might be in my luggage that I could need so I confessed it was just lost luggage with a laugh and rushed off to file a claim.

I had 3 days of clothes on my back and just about everything I could need initially. My luggage came in the next evening and I was able to pick it up the following afternoon. So everything worked out in the end.

I just wish I would have capitalized on the “you have a message from Washington” moment better. Oh well, still pretty funny.

A Classic?

Ben claims every movie he owns is "a classic" film.  I think everyone has their own definition of what makes a film a classic, but for film to be a classic most people should agree that it is classic or at least understand why some people would consider it a classic.

Shortly after having this discussion, Ben made the mistake of buying Tron.  I say mistake because I was forced to watch it.  The movie started out incredibly weird and not very good, and it just kept getting worse as the movie progressed.  If you haven't heard of Tron I would argue that is a vote against it being a classic.  If you have heard of it, I hope you didn't have to watch it.

Maybe Ben can try explaining what makes this movie a classic.  I think it was something about early special effects.

So...do you think Tron is a classic film?