World's Nastiest Dog

Jackson ate his poop the other day.  Then he at a small dog treat because Ben couldn't stand his breath.  Before that he ate a small piece of plastic from his new favorite dog toy.

Later that day I was upstairs unpacking and Ben was washing a few dishes when he turned to look at Jackson and saw him sitting by the door with two streams of drool extending from the corner of his mouth almost to the floor.  Ben called me asking where the camera was so he could get a picture before he wiped Jackson's face.  I ran downstairs to show him where it was and then it hit me.

The smell of puke and poop saturated the air when I got to the third step.  The stench was so bad it actually made me feel like I was going to puke.  By the time I was halfway down the steps my eyes started to burn, and Ben slowly said, "Oooohhh, Jackson puked..."  Ben ran to let Jackson outside in case there was another round on its way up.  As I came around the corner I saw what Ben just ran away from.

Right in front of the couch was a big puddle of pea-green puke.  The dog treat was in about three different pieces since he doesn't chew his food.  There was a little piece of plastic at the edge the puddle and, of course, two big turds right in the middle.

It was the most disgusting thing I have ever cleaned up.  Even after cleaning the puke, washing the carpet, taking out the trash, spraying air freshener, and lighting a candle all I could smell was poopy puke.

Jackson wasn't allowed to lick me for the next 24 hours.

Dream On

So I woke up at 3:00AM today trying to decide if I should brave the ice storm to spend a few hours on campus before work.  At about 3:30 (I decided to stay in bed) I was still partially awake trying to convince myself that I had made the right choice (turns out the power was out on campus half the day anyway so "yay" for being lazy).  Suddenly Ben starts making moaning/barking/who-knows-what sounds.

It lasted about 10 seconds before I sat up and asked him if he was okay.  I actually thought something might be wrong.  Actually...my first thought was that he knew I was half awake and decided to make the dreaming Jackson noises he finds so entertaining just to mess with me.  Ben responded mumbling something about a dream.

His dream involved him being startled by a prowler of sorts in an imaginary camper that wasn't ours but was parked in our driveway.  Apparently, this caused him to take a couple gasping breaths before he scaring away the stranger.  Then I woke him up.

Once I figured out he wasn't just messing with me I couldn't stop laughing.  I'm sure you had to be there or at least hear his dream "gasping" to find this as entertaining as I did, but trust me it was hilarious.

Then a huge, ice-covered tree branch fell in our yard and I finally stopped laughing.  We are in a state of emergency you know.  Don't worry, our power didn't even go out.  Everyone else in the state woke up to floods, cars under tree limbs, and no power but we just woke up to Ben barking in his sleep.