Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My Parents Lied to Me

So I learned something new this week...how to tie my shoes. My parents (who are teachers) taught me how to tie my shoes the wrong way!

It turns out the knot I have been using my whole life is a Granny Knot which loosens when stressed while a Reef Knot actually tightens. Apparently I'm not alone with this common mistake in kindergarten knowledge. The pictures I got of Runner's World show how you know you're doing it wrong.

Wrong Right

I have always noticed that my tie was parallel to my foot and found it a little annoying, but I assumed I was somehow twisting something and it wasn't worth bothering to investigate. That is actually why I read the article in the first place. Finally! The solution to my persistent shoelace problem that haunts me every time I tie my shoe (okay so maybe it is for only 10 seconds).

Check out the Runner's World article. I think the video does a better job of explaining it if you discover your parents lied to you too and you want to learn the right way.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Oops!

We've had a lot of minor destruction in the house since Jackson moved in.  According to Casie it's all really my fault, not Jackson's.  I'm not sure how she got that idea.

When we play fetch in the house and Casie has a pop can in the my throwing path...not my fault.  When I was throwing a toy over the half wall for Jackson to chase and it knocks over our box of Christmas cards gouging the floor...not my fault.  When I threw a rubber bone for Jackson and it took a wild bounce leaving a small smudge on the wall...not my fault.

You can barely even see the mark!

I don't get why Casie was upset about a little mark on the wall.  How was I supposed to know a rubber bone would bounce that high?  Or go through the wall?  MAYBE it's because the day before that when Casie gently tossed me the same toy I told her it was too hard to throw in the house.  It was probably really just the fact that she didn't get to throw the bone through the wall.

A zoomed in shot with weapon

And the (arguably) guilty party

In case you're wondering, I already patched the hole and will be painting it tomorrow.  No matter how many times Casie offered to make repairs while I was in class this weekend I insisted on being the one to fix it.  Even though it wasn't my fault, it was more my fault than Casie's but only because she wasn't even home for the incident.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I've Got Blisters On My Fingers

My parents got me a set of snowshoes to build for Christmas.  These are the wood and rawhide (neoprene these days) kind made by a family in the U.P. and distributed across the U.S. (and probably at least Canada if not elsewhere, eh).  Jackson is a huge fan of snowshoeing, or at least the fact that I walk him in the deep snow (he couldn't care less what is on my feet as long as I trudge through knee deep snow with him).  They weren't easy to make.  There were a lot of...phases...to the process.  Here's how it went.

Day 0:  Cool!  I can't wait to start.  Jackson will love snowshoeing!

Day 1:  What were my parents thinking?!  This doesn't make any sense!  What idiot wrote these instructions.  I'm pretty sure my visualization skills are above average but these pictures don't make sense.  "Tie a Lark's Knot."  Gee, I would if I knew what that was.  These guys might make good snowshoes, but their written communication skills are terrible.

Day 1.5:  I'm glad my parents could explain a little, it's not too bad now.  I would have been completely lost if they hadn't added their supplemental instructions to the packet.  By packet I mean, the three useless pages that came with the snowshoes.

Day 2:  I got the middle of both shoes done, not bad.  My fingers hurt and I'm bleeding all over the neoprene from one of the cuts on my hands.  Time for a little break.  I might actually write real direction, copy write them, and sell them to the Iverson's.  These guys are horrible at instructions!

Day 2.5:  What does that even mean?  "Just weave."  That's all the directions I get for the heel and toe?!  Not even a picture showing what "weave" means?  My parents weren't a ton of help either since this is different from my dad's set.  At least they agreed that my guessing interpretation was logical.  "Just weave,"  seriously...if I ever meet these Iverson people I'm going to offer some constructive criticism...hopefully I'll be more polite about it than I feel right now.

Day 2.75:  Make it "as tight as possible" huh?  It would have been nice to know I would be threading something between those two surfaces later.  I actually made it too tight.  How could one person possibly do this?  It takes all of Ben's strength AND me heaving with all my body weight to thread it through only moving a foot at a time.  Oh, and now I found a mistake so I have to undo that part and start the toe over!  Ahhhh!!!  I wouldn't give this gift to an enemy.

Day 3:  I'm still frustrated I need to undo and redo those two impossible spots on the toe.  I need another day before I deal with unlacing the stupid toe.

Day 4:  My fingers are no longer red, but the tips are still sore and swollen so I'm going to wait another day.  Besides the cuts on my hands could use another day.

Day 7:  Ben broke out his tools for re-lacing baseball gloves.  The neoprene was so tight we bent one, but it was still a huge help.  One toe down...yay!  The heel is even easier now that I get what "just weave" means.  I got the toe wrapped...nice.  Wrapped the heel...ah, crap!  I stopped over an inch early and now it's lopsided.  Sure it won't affect the function, but it's going to bug me forever!  Who buys something like this for someone?  I bet it's all sorts of fun at a brewery with an instructor to help.  All I have is pictures and crappy directions.  And crappy beer, stupid Sam's Winter Lager...Ben got the last Octoberfest yesterday so now I'm stuck pretending this is a good substitute.

Day 8:  Got the other heel done.  It isn't any easier, but it's a little less frustrating with Ben's awesome tool.  I have way more than enough neoprene for the last toe so I'm just going to cut my mistake out of the original toes instead of unstringing it.  Yeah, it's that hard and so not worth another cut on my hand.  Got the last toe done...I can't wait until this is over.

Day 8.25:  Wrapped both the heel and toe on the second one.  I might have enough to redo the other heel.  If I don't have enough it's going to suck to redo for no reason though.  This SUCKS!!

Day 8.5:  Haha!  There was enough!  It was worth it and now I don't have a lopsided wrap to look at the rest of my life.  That's right the rest of my life, I'll never get rid of these snowshoes...and I'll NEVER make my own snowshoes again.  I just need to put the harnesses on.

Day 8.75:  Of course.  The Iverson's didn't feel the need to put instructions on the harness.  They pretty much didn't give any instructions on the rest of the snowshoe, why start now?  I can't make any sense of the harnesses either.  I can't tell what strap goes to what buckle or what part of the foot each strap goes around.  Dad wasn't much help since he somehow ended up with a different harness than me.  I somehow figured it out from hearing how his worked though.

Day 8.9:  Finally!  They're done!  Now it's time to take Jackson with me on a test run.

The final product.

My harness (so my Dad can see why I was so confused when he was describing his).

So now that it's over it is kind of cool to have a pair of snowshoes I made.  Although I had my moments of doubt along the way, I really do appreciate the gift now that I'm done.  And I appreciate the actual snowshoes more than a straight purchased pair after the blood and silent profanity.  They worked great, and like I mentioned at the beginning Jackson is a big fan of the activity.  He goes a few clicks faster than I would choose to go on my own, but he keeps it exciting.

Monday, January 19, 2009

A History Lesson

Todd is my cartoon buddy.  We haven't talked cartoons lately, but when I was in Ohio this was a frequent topic (considering we are college graduates and working professionals).  We both like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (who doesn't) except for the future/time travel ones (really bad).  We didn't have much to choose from since most cartoons these days are not cool so we usually agreed on the good and bad of various cartoons and shared with each other the good channels and times to catch cartoons Saturday morning.  Sherlock Holmes in the future for example...a lot of potential, Holmes is almost always cool.  Future Holmes...not so good, in fact one of the worst.  I think Watson was a robot, if that helps depict how bad it was.

One cartoon I always enjoyed was Liberty Kids.  It may have been my favorite, but I'm not sure I can admit that to TMNT.  I could never quite sell Todd on how cool it was (although he never said it was bad), but trust me they're awesome.  They are way better than most of the cartoons that play today.  Plus they're historically accurate and trick kids into learning about the revolutionary era.  I'm not all about educational kids shows, but I am a fan of tricking kids.

Well, I have a new favorite educational history show.  I get a whole new appreciation for history from some true experts with each episode.  It is called Drunk History, available on YouTube.  Unfortunately there are only 5 episodes, but they are pretty much 5 minutes of awesome including Jack Black as Ben Franklin (my favorite).  Go check them out.  There is profanity in case that offends you.

I hope they aren't done posting new episodes so I can continue my education in American History.